THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF VALENTINE’S DAY
words by FRANCESCO PIZZUTI
Valentine’s Day is here, which always makes us ponder, unfortunately.
It creeps on us between the heart-shaped candies and the flowers, like a needy ex tapping on our shoulders. We tell ourselves we don’t care, but while we try to numb the thoughts by juggling four themed club nights and two events, it’s important to stop and think and, perhaps, not top a twink.
And so, the rumination begins. Do I want a relationship? Are my committed friends happier than me? What do I think of love? Am I dating around too much? Should I turn to god instead?
For singles, it’s a marathon of soft humiliation, as we’re caught in between longing for we-don’t-even-know-what and developing a superiority complex against all those corny straggots. But, at the end of the day, after the bouquet delivery your co-worker got, and the Instagram-stories-turned-love-poems we had to endure, we are left wondering, should I hit up the guy who gave me an STD scare last week? The “date” was quite good after all.
But let’s be honest; for the coupled up? It might be worse. Because Valentine’s doesn’t just ask if you’re in love; it asks what your love looks like. And that might be an even harder pill to swallow, because at least we singles can resort to our hopes and dreams of a mystical perfect love, while for the pairs, all of a sudden, thoughts of breaks and open relationships don’t seem so crazy anymore. “We could just explore a little” starts to sound like “we are bored”, and as the plate on the table of your forced dinner reservation is getting colder by the second, you feel like the rules are starting to change.
This is the day when expectations bloom like bacteria. Romance intensifies and so does doubt. We all want emotional growth, but do we even give ourselves and each other a chance? As the consensus that having a partner is embarrassing ensues in popular culture and no-strings-attached mentality becomes consistently more pervasive, maybe the most radical act is simpler: stop performing desire, or lack thereof.
This Valentine’s Day, open your eyes. Look at the person you’re with, or the one you keep choosing not to be with. Look at your patterns. Your excuses. Your standards. Your loneliness. Your appetite.
Love might not be perfect. It might not even be permanent. It might be just one night, actually.
But at least let it be intentional!
cover image via Pinterest https://pin.it/5F8GC2pr5
